Nothing Left to Say

"What kind of cake do you want?"

"No idea."

"Can we have mint?"

"Sure!"

I smiled. "I love mint."

"Mint is really good."

"Yeah. The first flavor of ice cream I've ever eaten when I turned 15."

"Really?"

I nodded. "I wasn't allowed to enjoy the nice things in life, like ice cream, t.v., a comfortable bed, until I found my real parents. Even then, nice was an extremely foreign concept to me."

I nodded slightly, I really wanted to hurt his Foster dad.

"But that's all in the past, now, isn't it? I'm free."

"Yeah."

I looked out the window. Was I, though? I still had the red band, though it was on Nat's wrist, I still had it. Was I truly free from my past?

I glanced at the band on my wrist, then rolled the window down.

I looked at her. "What are you doing?" I asked.

I took the band off and handed it to him, then rolled down his window, "Throw it."

"What?!"

"Trust me."

I looked down at the band. I took a deep breath and a gulp before I threw it out the window.

I kept driving and left the windows down.

I looked down at my lap. "Why?"

"You were using that band to justify living in the past. Remembering the past and living in it are two different things. You aren't over your past and that band was a physical reminder so by letting go of it you can start to let go of your past, stop dwelling on it, stop beating yourself up over it."

I clenched my fist and closed my eyes. I could feel tears forming.

"You just needed to take that first step." I slipped my hand in his, "Remember your past ok? Just don't live in it."

"How do I do that?" I asked, my voice barely above a whisper.